Your Relationship Is So Precious to You. You Keep Toughing It Out Even Though It's Gotten So Hard.
I Have Guided Many, Many Couples From Distressing Disconnection to Real Closeness. From Reactivity to Authentic and Aligned Communication. From Fragile Trust to Steady, Resilient, and Earned Safety.
You Care So Much About Each Other, and Yet…
You are bone-weary of having your partner respond to your feelings and needs with defensiveness or silence. It's exhausting.
You feel lonely and unseen in your relationship. Talking about important things feels like walking on emotional eggshells.
You may even notice that you have your best days when you aren't spending time together.
Your once thriving sex-life is in the rear-view mirror and you just don't feel as close as you want to, or as you used to.
You may have a home, kids, a life built together. Or simply invested months or years into this relationship. You have so much to lose if you can't figure this out.
Maybe you've tried couple's therapy and it helped a little. "I" statements and understanding the cycle can only help so much.
Your closest relationship, ideally a refuge of warmth and safety, has become a battlefield of tension far too often.
- You are bone-weary of having your partner respond to your feelings and needs with defensiveness or silence. It's exhausting.
- You feel lonely and unseen in your relationship. Talking about important things feels like walking on emotional eggshells.
- You may even notice that you have your best days when you aren't spending time together.
- Your once thriving sex-life is in the rear-view mirror and you just don't feel as close as you want to, or as you used to.
- You may have a home, kids, a life built together. Or simply invested months or years into this relationship. You have so much to lose if you can't figure this out.
- Maybe you've tried couple's therapy and it helped a little. "I" statements and understanding the cycle can only help so much.
- Your closest relationship, ideally a refuge of warmth and safety, has become a battlefield of tension far too often.
Insight without accountability doesn't create change.
When we're in session together, I'm in it with you.
This Is Where I Work Differently
When we're in session together I'm in it with you, guiding you, challenging you to change your part in the unhealthy patterns, and teaching you the many skills needed to cultivate the very best relationships. Your relationship is unique to you. The skills needed to create the best version of your union are basically universal, and sadly not well understood by so many couple's therapists.
I'm here to help you learn how to allow the love you feel for each other guide each moment of your relationship. You will learn to become the fierce protectors of each other's peace, even as you navigate differences, conflict, and difficult truths.
I will slow you down often. Interrupt what's not working. And guide you, moment by moment, into something more skillful, more connective, and more effective.
I care about your relationship too much to let you keep hurting each other in predictable ways.
I will challenge you to take real responsibility for your impact (not just your intention). To stay present when you have the strong urge to defend or disappear. And to listen in a way that your partner can actually feel.
This isn't about becoming inauthentic. Not at all. It is about bringing great skill, sensitivity, integrity, and respect into the ways you offer and receive each other's truth.
The best relationships require the shared commitment to protect the connection and respect one another, even and especially in the heat of the moment.
I can help you transform your relationship from a source of frequent frustration and pain into your greatest refuge in the stormy seas of life.
When couples do this, everything shifts. You will learn how to: Consistently have deep conversations that lead to understanding and yummy closeness instead of exhausting ruptures. Repair quickly when things go off-track, instead of staying stuck and disconnected for days. Rebuild and maintain trust through kept agreements and consistently changed behavior.
- Free ConsultationWe'll get honest about what's happening and what's needed
- Highly Engaged SessionsI guide, interrupt, and coach in real time
- Clear, Direct FeedbackYou'll know exactly what's helping vs. hurting your relationship
- Real Practice, Not Just TalkingYou'll build new ways of relating that actually stick if you are willing to do the work and change.
I can help you transform your relationship from a source of frequent frustration and pain into your greatest refuge in the stormy seas of life. That's what our marriages and partnerships are meant to be!
Reach Out TodayWhat to Expect:
Free Consultation
We'll get honest about what's happening and what's needed
Highly Engaged Sessions
I guide, interrupt, and coach in real time
Clear, Direct Feedback
You'll know exactly what's helping vs. hurting your relationship
Real Practice, Not Just Talking
You'll build new ways of relating that actually stick if you are willing to do the work and change.
Why Couples Trust This Work
16 years in practice.
Jess has helped hundreds of people over 16 years as a Marriage and Family Therapist.
Directive, engaged couples work.
"Not all couples therapy is created equal." Jess guides, interrupts, and coaches in real time rather than passively observing.
Depth behind the method.
A dedicated meditation practitioner for over 30 years; mindfulness and Buddhist psychology inform the therapy he offers.
Free 20-minute consultation.
You can get honest about what's happening and what's needed before committing to anything.
Hi, I'm Jess.
I work with couples who are ready for more than surface-level change. Couples who don't just want to "communicate better" but want to actually transform how they show up with each other.
My style is engaged, direct, compassionate, and very honest.
I won't sit quietly while the two of you reenact the same painful dynamic. I'll help you see it clearly, feel what's underneath it, and do something different right there in the session.
This is active, focused work. And it works.
I've helped many, many couples find this beautiful level of connection by becoming more responsible, more present, more respectful of each other, and more actively loving in how they relate.
Are you willing to be both deeply supported and challenged when needed? Do this work and experience one of life's greatest gifts: A relationship that is thriving, connected, safe, and joyful.
How long is a therapy session with you?
A session is 50 minutes.
Do you offer in-person sessions?
Yes. My office is on San Pablo Avenue on the Berkeley/Albany border.
Do you offer online sessions?
Yes. Telehealth sessions are available for all people residing in California. Many of my clients find that telehealth sessions are just as powerful and effective as in-person sessions.
How often do we meet?
I highly recommend meeting weekly for most clients, especially at the beginning of therapy. When you have made significant progress toward your goals, we can discuss meeting less frequently.
How long can I expect to be in treatment?
The answer truly varies widely depending on what your goals are for therapy. Typically, clients work with me for 6 to 18 months before "graduating."
Do you take insurance?
I do not participate with any insurance panels and am considered an out-of-network provider. If you have out-of-network behavioral health benefits, I will provide you with a monthly invoice to submit to your insurer for reimbursement.
You seem really serious. Do we laugh in sessions?
Haha! Yes, all the time. I'm attempting to communicate the gravitas and the power of the therapy I offer here. In person, you will find me to be light, cordial, friendly, and if there's something to laugh about, very quick to laugh with you!